Living mainly in Lai Chau province in northwest Vietnam, the La Hu ethnic community preserves its own unique wedding customs. The La Hu people celebrate their traditional new year in November and December known as the “wedding season” for young couples. When a La Hu couple decided to marry, the groom is allowed to sleep at his girl’s house for several nights in order to get to know her better. The custom even permits them to sleep together in the same bed. The wedding itself is a long process which begins with the na-nhi ceremony, similar to the proposal ceremony often seen in delta areas at night. Accompanied by their match-maker, the groom’s parents and siblings visit to make the proposal of marriage at the girl’s house. They bring with them a “precious gift” comprising various items from the forest which must include squirrel meat and wine to enjoy together after the proposal is accepted. Seven or eight days after the proposal ceremony comes the betrothal ceremony. According to the La Hu tradition, the offerings usually include two bottles of wine and four or eight squirrels — the groom’s family has to meet the bride’s requirements for the even number of squirrels. The matchmaker is in charge of cooking and serving the squirrel meat to the bride’s family. During the meal, the two families discuss the value of the dowry and the period of time the groom will stay at the bride’s house. In the past, the typical dowry was quite substantial, sometimes as much as 70 or 80 pieces of white silver. If the groom was poor and had no silver, he had to move to his wife’s house immediately after the betrothal ceremony and stay there working for her family in at least 12 years. Today the groom’s stay is just from two to four years. At the end of this period, the groom’s family will go in procession to the bride’s house to bring both husband and wife back home. The La Hu custom dictates that there must be an odd number of people in the groom’s party – this includes the groom and two matchmakers (one for each family). When the groom’s family formally “receives” the bride, their matchmaker gives the wedding money to the bride’s family. Once she has left her family’s house with her husband, even if she misses her parents, the bride must avoid looking back to the place where she was born and brought up, for La Hu people believe that if she does so, the couple will often have rows in the future. The groom’s mother waits in front of the house to welcome her daughter-in-law by rubbing a handful of rice onto her back. This custom, known as “wiping the grass off the bride,” symbolizes the break between her old and new life. In some La Hu communities, the mother-in-law also plants two galingale plants on either side of the front door and ties a white thread from one plant to the other. With the bride standing on the left and the groom on the right, the couple must cut the thread before entering the house, the bride using her right hand and the groom using his left. After the proceedings, the two families have a meal together to toast the couple’s happiness and good fortune. (vovnews.vn May 23)
